Tobes

I was with a group of people and one of them commented on how while everyone else was angry, annoyed etc I am always in the right frame of mind. I like to think of myself as a happy/bubbly person. I know I definitely didn’t used to be. It’s easy to pick out excuses to why I was not a confident, positive person and it obviously starts from a young age. However since the age of 18  onwards I have changed for the better and even my family agree.

I didn’t used to mingle with random people, I wouldn’t make or carry on a conversation with people in clubs or outside of college. I would just keep to myself, which actually I still do, but there are times and places where this is the case. I also couldn’t use the phone to phone anyone other than friends. Reason being because I didn’t like rejection/disappointment. When you ring a company it’s normally to sort out a problem and sadly it never goes the way you want it to. People can be dicks when they are anonymous as a lot of people should know. I still don’t really like having to phone anyone because I read a lot from peoples actions and expressions. Everyone does this but because of my cheeky attitude it’s good to know if my smart ass remarks are making people have a laugh or if you overstepped the line.

At 19 I got a job as a bartender. This was a good push in the right direction. In this job I HAD to talk to people, I had to make conversation and I had to deal with real life. While working here I was also in college and struggling with money and I also didn’t like the lecture schedule. On some days I only had one lesson in the middle of the day when if they had a better timetable I could have possibly been working and earning more money to fund education. On the particular day when I used to miss this one lesson my Mum got a call from the department head of year asking why I wasn’t in. My parents at this point had already noticed I was more confident so she told him it was none of her business and she should talk to me. So I went storming in that day to speak to him. I was angry that they has a conversation with my parents as I was over 18 and it’s my problem not theirs. I don’t actually know he knew how old I was. I think by that time I was 20. He couldn’t see how I had things to pay for and why I needed to work. Being 20 I had a mobile phone bill to pay for, rent, car and basic living costs. He just kept saying that shouldn’t my parents be able to help me out. I had already borrowed over £3000 from my Mum and I didn’t want to, nor would she let me borrow any more. I tried to get across that missing one lesson wouldn’t hurt and I could work that day. He said “I couldn’t have both”. My response? “You’re going to be a dick about this aren’t you?” and walked out. Funny enough 10 minutes after I walked out of his room my Mum called me to say she was just on the phone to him and why did I call him a dick. I want to point out that I didn’t directly call him a dick. I implied he was going to be one. I think she was disappointed that I lost my cool. She did warn me before hand to chill out. The next time I returned to college was my last and it was to inform my tutors such. They had all heard what happened but from his side so they all asked why I called him a dick.

As for my bartender job, I had nearly a year before I walked out because of a new manager disagreement. I like to think of this as when I first grew some balls.

Me and another barman were working on the bar full time. We practically ran it. Then they got in a bar manager. Within a week of her being on she told me she would have to let me go because as she was on salary she would have to have the hours as her contract has it written down. Fair enough. I was bummed out that they were just saying thanks for running the place now find a new job, but this is the real world and stuff like this happens. What I wasn’t ready for was for her to have me on the bar with a temporary barmaid who’s first night it is on the bar and have 200 customers in the room. It was crazy busy. I would have had 4 bartenders on at the minimum. Anyway I was getting abuse from customers everywhere and normally it was the kind of place where you could tell them that if they keep bothering you, you wouldn’t serve them. But there’s only so much I could take. What made it worse is that the Bar Manager was sitting on her fat ass outside the bar in reception knowing full well what was happening. Anyway I ended walking out, throwing my till key at her and telling her I quit.

I was barred for 3 months from a place I didn’t even drink at. Oh noes…

Finding another job was hard. Really hard. I handed out CVs to every bar, pub and club. I had 3 interviews. One for each. I accepted a job with the club. Had a offer for the pub (turned it down as I had accepted the club), and also had a offer from the bar job. I wanted the bar job as well but they wouldn’t accept me while having the other job.

Hmm this seems like a long post with very little important details in it. Ahh well let’s continue.

The bar job was all right. Hours were harsh as I didn’t get home till 5am. But other than that it was a pretty easy job. However I made one foolish mistake which isn’t going to happen again. I posted a status on Facebook saying about how much it was going to cost to get in and for a pint. “Who’s going to pay this?” I asked. Everyone who replied said they wouldn’t. This is Newquay, locals don’t pay to get in local places and we also don’t feel like paying over £3 for a pint. Possibly a week after that status I got called into the Managers office. I had never spoken to him before at all so this seemed strange. He said one work when I walked in “Facebook!”. I had no idea what he meant by that. Then he made me read a email. I foolishly didn’t read who it was from. However that was my private status that only “friends” could read. I got my first warning. I was pissed off. I phoned up the place that offered me the bar job and accepted it. Then handed in my notice to the club. To this day I still don’t know who it’s from. I mass deleted a lot of people and my Facebook is much more locked down now. Also work colleagues can’t see as much just in case I should happen to pull a sickie which I have actually never done in any of these jobs.

This post was supposed to be about how I like to think I’m a positive person. Instead I just went on about my work experiences and it was all negative. Haha OK I will make this part 1! I have quite a few posts already saved as drafts waiting to be published as it is!

The point of this though is that as a kid I would take crap from people and accept it. Even thinking that it was my fault. These experiences show that the quiet kid who used to take shit from other kids and teachers isn’t the same any more and as it goes on, it’s only going to impact me more. I just hope I can keep my cool when I really should just take it.

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